Pilates

Today I had my first matwork pilates class. I knew pilates were no joke but goodness sakes. First thing, I come to the class after a 1.5 hour massage. Big mistake. Massages bring out toxins and hour and a half massages bring out a bunch of toxins. After a massage, one is instructed to drink lots of water to flush out the toxins. So, right after bringing out toxins and drinking lots of water I walk in to the class and it looks like the instructor is doing yoga. I stood for a while and then asked a fellow participant if I was in the right class. I find a spot and follow the instructor and then fifty minutes of hell begins.

The instructor looked so nice. She recently had a baby and teaches high school math. She keeps talking and informs us of "Calculus: The Musical" being performed by her high school students. Nothing in the beginning would lead one to believe she is a smiling, well-toned uber sadist. She asks us to lay on our backs and engage our abdominal muscles, constantly engage our abdominal muscles. We put our legs in the air and do scissors. At one point, post-pilate, she asks us to do this stretch where I end of unsuccessfully placing my elbow behind my knee while sitting on the floor. I did not go well.

After the class, I am trying to put my shoes on being so close to death. (A bit melodramatic but only a little). I talk with the instructor who I could not really focus on because I was close to blacking out. She tells me that people like me (people who work out, I guess) would really benefit from pilates. She says that it is good for my core and for my flexibility but will give me a good aerobic workout. I beg to differ as I breathe heavier than when I finish a run. Anyway, I finally leave and then try to get home before my eventual demise. I get home fall face first on our new red couch and say my goodbyes to the Mrs.

Post-mortem: After an hour on the red couch, I rejoin the living and go to Borders to take advantage of the 40% off sale on CDs. :)