Top Note (it is not on the side): You cannot tell someone who suffers from anxiety, despite their laid back nature (hmmm, I wonder who this is?), to just sit back relax and not be anxious about a change. That is like putting a fish in water and telling it not to swim. It cannot be done, it is in its nature.
Now for something completely different...
I love ellipses. :)
In about four and a half weeks, we celebrate the births of Salvador Dali, Martha Graham, and Irving Berlin all artists (painter, dancer, musician, respectively). Other people were born on that day as well. As I approach the completion of my 35th year and embark on my 36th, I have come to the realization that I have to make some changes in my life if I am going to make it to 40 with a modicum of sanity. I just need a little bit of sanity, too much would throw me off.
Two or three or four years ago I came to the assisted realization that I needed to build my friendship circle and interact more with like-minded people. That worked out well enough for a while, I found some people I liked. We went to trivia and we built routines. I love routines they make me feel secure and happy. We even worked out together. It was nice. Well, my routine was changed last year and I am still, yes, still trying to build new routines. I think overall I am doing better at keeping in touch with people. Blogging and Facebook have allowed me to stay in touch with the day-to-day of people's lives and for me that is some semblance of a routine in which I can feel comfortable. Did I mention I like routines? Hell, I like Unix/Linux and scripting. I
love routines.
I need to ride more. I like cycling. My goal is to improve my duathlon performances from last year. If I can show myself that I am serious, I will start saving for a triathlon-specific bike. I already know which bike I want. This bike has a carbon frame (very light), a high-end set of gears, and a shorter tube which is good for people with low-to-moderate flexibility of which I have none. However, I have started taking a pilates class to improve my flexibility and my core. I am going back to Tai-Ji as well. I had a routine with a certain group of people I saw everyday Saturday and then I stopped going because I felt like I was progressing faster than the group. I was not upset that the group was not on my level but that I was set apart from the group. I think in some ways I sabotaged my own progress but that is for another time. I think that once I start Tai-Ji and maybe take off an afternoon or two in order to ride about 20 miles or so I will bring balance to my life and be much happier.
This is not really profound just more writing my mental chatter.