Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

One week before the anniversary of your death, Barack Obama was sworn in as President of the United States. It was quite the occasion. I am sure in the past there were inauguration concerts and hoopla but this was insane. Friends in Maryland went to the DC Mall to see it live and so did a guy from work.

It is sad that you and Carol were not here to see it. As you know, she died on the last day of 2008. I may never forget, I hope I do not, that you told me to call Carol more often during 2007 and 2008 because she may not have that much more time left. I remember you paused when you said that. I knew the thought made you sad. You let it sink in for a minute and then you were done with the sadness. I did as I was told and I am glad I did. Well now she is telling you stories and you are there to laugh at them just like the old days.

Everyone is doing pretty well. You would be really proud of Stacy. There is not a week that goes by when she does not tell me she misses you and how she wishes she could call you. I think she really misses having someone who really understands the crazy things her husband says. She feels like she had more to learn about me from the source. Mike and Suzi had a baby. They named her Briana Pamela. She was christened in January on your birthday. It was cold but a nice event, even though it snowed (it was Boston in January). Through no effort on their part, the icing on Briana's cake was pink and green. Dad, Stacy, and I got a kick out of that since those are your sorority colors.

Per your instructions, we call Grandma and Aunt Pat at least once a month. Grandma will be 90 this year. We talked to her tonight. She and Aunt Pat were really excited about Barack Obama's inauguration. She (Grandma) said that she never thought she would live to see a Black President of the United States. Truth be told, I did not think I would live to see a Black President of the United States. I echo Michelle Obama's sentiment that there have been few times that I have been prouder to live in the United States. Mind you, I was not going to give up my citizenship and leave no matter how I felt about the country.

I think it is amazing that Barack Obama won North Carolina and Virginia. In Virginia, where we had Robert E. Lee/Martin Luther King Jr Day, more people voted for a Black man than for a decorated war hero. I remember when you told me you mentioned to a woman that your son went to Duke and the next question out of the woman's mouth was "What sport does he play?". I remember when you told me a Black woman came to the door and asked to speak to the woman of the house. She did not believe you when you repeatedly told her that you were, in fact, the woman of the house and yes, you understood that meant the owner. You were both the woman of the house and the owner. It took you almost slamming the door in her face before she believed you. You had such patience because I know at that time it took effort to walk to the door and stand in the foyer talking but I bet you were never rude, that was not your way. I wonder what Jesse Helms thought about Barack Obama winning North Carolina.

You would be proud of Dad. He is getting out and being social. Since your death, we have seen him every three months or so. Recently, he had a stent put in to alleviate an 85% blockage of an artery. We are encouraging him to make some lifestyle changes but, as you know, it takes time to bring him around. He misses you. He misses having a dining companion. The man's idea of a salad is coleslaw. For the record, that is not a proper salad. We went down to Tallahassee for Christmas. We were going to have him come up here for Christmas but nobody leaves Florida to come to Michigan in the Winter. We (Stacy) enjoyed the sun so much we stayed a few extra days. On New Year's Day, we learned that Carol died the day before. I think that broke Dad's heart. I was glad we were with him for the news. Both he and Stacy took it pretty hard given the loss of you and the time of the year. Add the fact that Carol introduced you to Dad, again, and it was hard. Dad flew to Buffalo and Stacy and I drove to Buffalo for the funeral. Dad participated in the funeral (Jim really wanted him there). He told everyone about you and Carol and people enjoyed it (as much as anything can be enjoyed at a funeral).

We are getting along. We always think of you. We still laugh at your jokes and ways. I am really glad you were experiencing the best health of your adulthood, if not your life. It just makes me happy that you, as an artist, experienced the world through good eyes and experienced what it felt like to walk the mall and not have to sit down and rest every 15 minutes.

The day you died I was on my first "Worst Day of the Year" ride. What an understatement.

Love,
Your son, the image of your husband but with your personality.

David