Last night I went to the bar with some co-workers (read people whose timesheets I sign). At some point, the discussion turned to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada and the show that is on HBO about the Bunny Ranch. For those who do not know, the Bunny Ranch is a legal brothel run by a man that looks like Mr. Carlson of WKRP (aka the Maytag Man of the 2000's) trying to channel the mind of Hugh Hefner.
I recounted an episode that I remembered where a husband and wife made a decision that the best option to earn extra money was for the wife to work at the Bunny Ranch. The husband had a full-time job but with the kids and rising costs, money was not stretching as far as it used to. From a purely economic standpoint, I guess their decision made sense. She could work during the day and still be back home before the kids get home or maybe she was working nights when the kids were in bed. I would think daytime sex work might be in less demand. Anyway, it is a legal profession and she admitted that she dropped out of high school and did not do any apprenticeships or anything. According to her, she was unskilled and working at the brothel was more lucrative than waitressing and with less standing. The less standing makes me chuckle but I have the maturity of a twelve-year-old, at times. I stated that in order for a couple to make that decision, they must have been in dire straits.
I have been thinking about what would lead a couple to that decision and what about that decision did I object to. What really are spousal rights as far as the other spouse's activities? Spouses do not own each other. On top of that, the difference between spouses and friends with privileges is the emotional commitment and shared life, so how important is physical sexual exclusivity? If the couple can deal with any jealousy issues that may arise, many couples have when it comes to looking the other way as far as flings and dalliances, then why not?
For me, this is an intellectual exercise because I could neither be in the wife's nor the husband's position. However, I am really trying to pin down my objection. I have to have a better reason than 'it is just wrong'.
3 comments:
How 'bout it's just wrong because it's still degrading to women? That's a good enough reason for me...
Good point. I think I would still defend the women's right to choose that path but try to talk them out of it. I would also try to dissuade the customers but then that would dry up the revenue stream for the women. I wonder if it would matter if the women booked their own clients and did not have to do the cattle call.
How about:
1. It makes sex a commodity as opposed to expression of intimate communication/connection.
2. The joint decision is questionable at best. It suggests the man is ok with objectifying his wife's body. She is no longer a person with depth but a vehicle for satisfying the carnal needs of random males. That suggests a major lack of respect on the part of the husband. You have to wonder about the man who has no problem with his wife having sex with numerous partners only to come home and share his bed.
3. I'm not sure I have ever seen a woman who genuinely aspires to be a commercial sex-worker. Women tend to be driven to this profession based on economic desperation and a lack of other feasible options. In order to preserve her top priority (her family), she is taking on this job, but at what cost to herself, husband, and children? The husband and wife in this case both chose to sacrifice her dignity, self-worth, and self-respect. If not under duress, can we honestly believe she would choose this job?
4. And now for the obvious: sexually transmitted diseases. I don't care how much protection is involved, prevention can only be 100% if you do not have sex with infected people. Commercial sex-workers are epicenters of transmission, because they encounter so many different partners over short periods of time. This not only puts the woman at serious risk, but also her husband.
Ah... concise yet again. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll come up with more ideas to flesh out the sparse comments above.
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