40 Years of love

Today we went over to a couple of friends' house for brunch. The guy used to have Stacy's job and recommended her for the job when he knew he was vacating it. I am not sure but either he was diagnosed with cancer and left the job or was diagnosed shortly after leaving the job. Over the five years since we have been in Ann Arbor, we have become actual friends with this couple. When he is feeling healthy, we have them over or we go over to their place. Last week, they celebrated their fortieth wedding anniversary.

The news of their fortieth anniversary made me pay attention to the palpable love in the room. For at least the past two years, Stacy and I have had the conversation that this might be our last time to spend with them as couple but time after time, he fights back. He never complains in a 'why me' manner instead he regrets that he cannot get out more. His wife retired from nursing so that they can spend whatever days, months, or years they have left together. Whenever, we get together we laugh and we talk. The subject of cancer is omnipresent so it is never ignored or skirted but it does not dominate conversation. In addition to his health and their battle with cancer, we discuss politics, careers, and life, in general.

Being around them it is quite apparent that they are still attracted to each other and do whatever they can to keep their romantic life alive. They are not all over each other, but it is something that you can feel by being in their presence. It really is quite beautiful and really hard to convey through words. I like that the wife talks about her anger about the fact that their lives were altered without their permission. She acknowledges it but never dwells on it and always finds something to laugh about. I think that the laughter and honesty is what keeps both of them alive and I truly feel blessed for having shared in it.